Apparently, indulgences are no longer indulgences when you indulge every day. They become a lifestyle.

AKA summer 2018.

(Yes, I am talking about last summer in January 2019 because that’s how long it took me to write this entry. I wrote huge chunks of it in several sittings but, as with everything I do, struggled to finish it.)

While I am all about treating yourself when you want to, I probably should also have not eaten every cookie waved in front of my face.

Like, I ate literally every cookie waved in front of my face. And cake slice. And fried thing. There was lots of pizza. (I have a dairy sensitivity.) Hell yes carbs. I never said no to carbs.

Usually I would be like yolo and #NORAGERTS, except that after going through the summer without much control or routine, I was feeling pretty lousy, sluggish, and bloated. My clothes also stopped fitting well. Luckily for me, I regularly exercise so I didn’t blow up like a balloon, but you know, abs are made in the kitchen and whatnot and I ended up on the chubbier end of my normal. I felt like I had to cleanse from my summer lifestyle, so that meant giving my body what it needed and not what it constantly wanted.

Also, enter the beginning of September when I had to complete a course of antibiotics that my body did not take well (nausea, cramping, all of the gastrointestinal upset), which just contributed to my constant malaise.

A detox was in order. Not a literal one, of course, because your liver does all that for you. You know what I mean.

I’d been interested in trying out something like Whole30, which is, in short, an elimination diet that you follow for a month and then gradually reintroduce food groups at the end to see what your body doesn’t like. But that would be too much of a commitment. Instead, I decided to try what I once thought was unimaginable.

I went vegan!

For ten days. Not permanently*.

(*More on that later.)

However. I didn’t decide to “just go vegan.” I know from the past that I tend to fail every vague diet modification — like when I decided to go low carb to curb my sugar problem, without a concrete plan of how I was going to methodically cut out carbs. “Low carb” lasted all of 3 days before I was uncontrollably stuffing my face with cake again. I needed something to actually keep me accountable.

Liiiiiiiike spending a lot of money so that I have to stick to my diet, otherwise I would have wasted all that money.

Specifically, after being wooed by their marketing (and in spite of reading the mixed reviews on their meal delivery service), I purchased the 10 Day Reset from Sakara Life.

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I don’t know what Tegomass is doing with this new single. Not sure if gusta.

. . .

Been a while since the events happened but I’ll post a short thing anyway.

Tough few weeks in Massachusetts.

My college is located many miles outside of the capital, but I’ve lived there my entire life. I grew up in a dangerous section of Boston so as desensitized as I’ve become to violence, news of death will garner hardly a blink from me.

We’ve never been terrorized before, though. This is different from the usual robberies and rapes and gang violence. In such an extremely proud city, this is why people care so much.

I wonder how relevant last week’s Boston marathon bombings and related events are to people who live outside Massachusetts. The plant explosion in Texas was huge and tragic and happened right after the marathon, but other than a post or two about it on Facebook, people here didn’t seem to pay much attention to it.

It’s one thing to hear about events of terror. It’s another thing to have it happen in the city you lived in your entire life. PLUS, the street where the bombings occurred? I go there almost every week. Pretty unnerving.

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a secret

Sometimes there are things I can’t speak of to anyone. Not to strangers who don’t give a crap. Not to my psychiatrist. Not to my best friends. Not to my boyfriend. Not to my brother. Not even you, journal.

I need help but I’m scared to ask for it.

And so it festers.

after all this time?


I will always be a fan of Harry Potter.

Which is why I’ve been on Pottermore instead of studying for finals or writing papers oh shit.

I’ve been trying to write this paper since 10pm and it’s now 3:45am and I needed a break so here’s this brief post about nothing. :P

Pottermore is amazing!!!!!! I’m planning on rereading the entire series during the summer, but we’ll see how that goes. I never follow through on plans.

I was sorted into Ravenclaw, though. D: Nothing particularly wrong with Ravenclaw, of course, but like most people I wanted Gryffindor. I texted Sherry my results (she’s a major HP nerd and was very pleased that she was sorted into Gryffindor) and she replied in all caps pointing out that I am the Vietnamese Cho Chang and she is Angelina Johnson… because she’s black.

Okay, back to this paper, sigh.

Yo, yo

It’s been a while, hasn’t it! Sorry about that, journal. I guess now that I linked my Twitter-journal to this site, I’ve become less motivated to write on here.

I don’t know what’s going on; it’s as if I’ve gone back to my depression days, minus the Sadness. I’ve just lost interest in doing anything at all, no matter how much I used to enjoy it. So that means I haven’t been writing or crafting or reading or exercising or singing or catching up with fandom (with the same fervor; I’m still mainly updated with stuff) or much of anything. I just sleep, stare at nothing, and do the minimal amount of homework required for me to pass. Although, I do have to be very careful because I’m on academic probation for failing a class due to psychological issues.

Isn’t it odd? There’s no more Sadness. Er, okay, I lied. The Sadness is still here. But it doesn’t hurt. I’m pretty much content and not very stressed. (Which can be a bad thing because I’m far too chill about schoolwork. Dx)

How about some quick updates? There really isn’t much to tell but here goes.

  1. Failed my Bio midterm! That was just… eww. I talked to my lab partners about it and they agreed it was tough too, so I’m glad it wasn’t just me. We’ll find out if I really did fail it or not when spring break ends in a few days.
  2. I’m actively trying to lose weight again. That’s not going too well. :P I’m not fat exactly but my squishiness factor is high. I lost like 7 pounds in the first month of college without even trying because I wasn’t eating junk and I kept getting lost on my hilly campus, haha. But I gained half of that back because my antidepressant makes me hungry and I tend to stress-eat and I love sugar and I ate 4 slices of pizza in a day last week because the dining hall didn’t have good food but they always have pizza oh shit. Manny is helping to motivate me. <3
  3. Um, I swear now. A lot. A LOT a lot. It’s so easy to influence my vocabulary, and it doesn’t help that most of the people I hang out with have vulgar tongues. This includes the Pest, Manny, Laureen, Mclean, and Elaina. Plus, I’m addicted to the internet, and you know how clean THAT can be. Forgive any future slip-ups. :P
  4. Japanese class is getting intense! It’s not difficult exactly, but the grammar lessons are starting to pile up and I keep confusing things. I love kanji, though! Practicing them is so therapeutic, and I learned enough that I was able to get the gist of one of Koyama’s short J-web entries. I’m getting this much closer to studying abroad in Japan!
    Katakana is still icky. D:
  5. NEWSSSSS. WHERE ARE YOU. It’s already spring and you guys haven’t done anything yet. ;__; Yes, I’m thrilled for KoyaShige’s new show and for Tegomass’s DVD release of their concert (which I can’t purchase this time because… The Old Man is beginning to wonder where his money is going lol), but I’d love to see these four guys do something as a group. We’ve been waiting foreverrr!
  6. I’ve switched majors again, hehe. Psychiatrist and I both agreed that a Biology major would be idiotic. So I switched to Psychology with an English minor. No matter what I do, I always find myself going back to English, huh?
  7. I never thought it would happen, journal, but I found a fic-writing buddy at college! Sherry and I make a dangerous combination. Harry Potter tentacle fic, anyone? She’s already begun writing fanfiction about her two [male] Economics professors. Yeah. She’s into yaoi. And humor. That’s her thing. On the other hand, I like writing fluffy, innocent, clean fics. And drama. I need to teach her how to write plot-driven fics.
    Dammit, I wanna write Cardcaptor Sakura things again!
  8. SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THE REALM OF HIPSTER YOUTUBE MUSIC PLEASE. You would think that now that I’m studying Japanese I’d listen to more J-pop, right? Nope. Instead I’ve been searching for hipster music. In English. It’s too late to save me.
  9. I tried to break up with Manny last week. Not because I don’t like him, but because I like him too much. Uh, that didn’t go as planned. Our relationship has gotten STRONGER because of that emotional, melodramatic episode, during which I cried into his chest for an hour straight. (I am so weak.) I’ll explain things in “Love Story Part 6” or something. :D
  10. Have I mentioned that I’m that rare first-year who lives in a single? Yup yup. Ex-roommate moved out early on in the semester to live with her friends whom she loves a lot. SO NOW I LIVE ALONE AND HAVE A KING-SIZED BED WOOHOO.

I think that’s all I have. My life is still relatively boring and uneventful. I’m not much of a party person, journal, so you won’t be hearing about many drunken party tales from me. I think I went to four? That’s not many when you consider that there’s one like every two weeks.

Back to spring break homework. ):

Until next time,

~ Mimi =]

all we know is falling

This week has been my hell week, and what I just found out is truly the icing on the cake.


And we can’t even blame Johnny for this because Yamapi and Ryo made the decision to leave NEWS themselves. I hate that there will be gleeful fans who will be all in our faces with “I told you so,” and I feel bad for the other fans who put so much trust into NEWS that I can’t even imagine how hurt they must be right now. ;___;

I know that NEWS will likely be more active now that the two busiest members are out, but how will they fare now that the two most popular members are out?

I’m scared to see what’s gonna happen. :/

Why am I here I need to write this essay now gvejwgvdsbb.

EDIT: Boston boys invited me to a party tonight and I had sworn to never drink but damn, this would be a time to start. /inconsolable


What? Tegomass 3rd Live Tour? Three months long? What? Didn’t they just have a tour last year?

Well, YAY for Tegomass because I love them so! NOOOO for no NEWS activity until I am well into my first year at college. I have never been more conflicted in my life. .___.

Wait. Tour = new album? With a studio version of “Ai no Naka de” and that new song “Hanabi” they just sang? This girl could sure use some new Johnny’s music right about now. I can only jam to KAT-TUN’s “Cosmic Child” for so long.

EDIT: Album is in progress. :DDDDD


AMP Energy is effective too.

EDIT: AMP Energy is very effective. I could feel the chemicals coursing through my veins even hours after I finished off the two-serving can. It’s easy to tell by looking at my notes when I started drinking because that’s when I stopped writing in straight lines. I practically passed out as soon as I got home from exams. Woke up at nine at night.

I vow to never drink another energy drink again.

Until next time,

~ Mimi DX