It’s been a world of culture shock.

I’ve gone from a tiny women’s college in a bubble of a campus to a gigantic research university so interwoven with the city that I can’t tell what’s school and what’s not. It’s also co-ed! There are /men/ walking around!! That’s not to say I never saw men during my undergrad years, but I can count the number of dudes I’ve had in my classes on my two hands. That includes cis and trans dudes.

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Onto the Next One

The last time I posted, I told some lies. Like that I was gonna post again soon.

I am deeply sorry for lying. I apologize for neglecting you, journal. I was still a little girl scrambling to complete her last year of undergraduate studies, making claims and promises along the way that never followed through.

But it’s okay; I’ll make it up to you, journal. I truly swear this time because two important things have happened since my last post, erm, last year:

  1. I graduated and received my Bachelor of Arts degree (and left my undergraduate institution forever and ever and please please take me back i wanna go back)
  2. I just began my master’s at a graduate school!!!!

How does my moving from undergrad to grad school make things any different when it comes to my posting frequency? Simply because I had wrapped up one chapter of my life and started a new one. Think of it like New Year’s just happened and you’re making resolutions because you want to start anew. You know, except 75% of the year already passed and I have a concrete and logical start date — the start of grad school — of this new chapter, as opposed to the arbitrary designation of January 1st as the beginning of a fresh start.

YOU READ THAT RIGHT, I just promised to post more frequently. Not gonna promise how frequent, just… *more* frequent. I’m aiming for at least twice a month (hey, a huge improvement over ignoring this journal for a year), but I also expect I’ll be super busy if I start working in a research lab along with schooling full time. So we shall see if I end up being a scumbag for not following through once again. I’m super determined this time though, especially since I now need an outlet to discuss and vent and word vomit with most of my college friends unavailable to talk to because they’re scattered around the world after graduating. Gotta force myself to write shorter entries too, because I have a horrid habit of starting long ones that end up rotting in my drafts page for all of eternity (current count is 35).

If money weren’t such an issue I would have moved in with Ley in her apartment — it’s SO close to my new school. Alas, I am broke and must resort to commuting from home.

Of course, I have to talk about grad school now, right? I’ll save that for next time because I’ve just procrastinated hardcore by writing this post instead of doing the assignments due tomorrow.

For now I’ll just say that commuting is incredibly exhausting. I don’t understand why because it’s not like I’m driving myself — I am sitting on a train doing nothing and yet it drains me. I was also accustomed to waking up 15 minutes before class and still arriving on time. Can’t do that as a commuter. Tomorrow is my longest day so I’ll report back on whether I stay awake in class/finish the assignments that should not have been left untouched until now.

Until next time,

~ Mimi


the train to Nopesville.

The workload of this semester has been so terrifying that my ignoring-that-undesirable-things-exist defense mechanism is in full gear. I’m now home for spring break with three papers to write, an acting performance to prepare for, and a presentation to begin for another acting course. Of course I haven’t started any of those. Here’s a catch-up journal entry instead!


Four classes. Cognitive Psychology. Intro to Moral Philosophy. Intro to Linguistics. Research Methods in Developmental Psychology.

I magically got A-minuses in three of the four classes and only got a B-plus in Linguistics because that final exam was nightmarish. This did wonders to my previously atrocious GPA from failing 3 classes!

…not that it’s a great number now but at least it’s not a 2-point-something anymore.

The research methods course was utter hell from September to October because we essentially condensed a semester of material into those two months. But then the rest of the time was entirely focused on our research so I guess I wouldn’t mind keeping the structure of the course the way it is.

My research partner and I examined how preschoolers label ambiguous gender, and although our hypothesis wasn’t supported, our findings indicate that growing up in a gendered society may be an ass even to preschoolers. Since we had to design and conduct our own psych studies, this course really provided some much needed vocational direction for me. I loveeee doing research!

Looks like I’ll be slaving away in grad school for that Ph.D. until I’m thirty.

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Ten a Day (21-30)





A 57.

OUT OF 70.


…an A-minus?

Okay, professor, I know I’m not very numerically inclined and I stare at you blankly half the time in class but a 57/70 is not an A-minus.

Well, it is after the gigantic curve. I guess I would have gotten a B-minus/81%, which I would have been thrilled with, actually! But the average was a 46/70 or something like that, or about a 66% without the curve.


How could that be the average when I am the only student who never answers the professor when he asks questions about the problems on the board because I am completely lost?

I got no points for the first question — “Find the domain of the function f(x) = ln(1 – e-x)” — because when e‘s and logs and ln’s show up in a problem everything automatically equals unicorn vomit, for all I know. But then this true/false problem here:

2 + 2 = fish

Professor was starting to collect the exams and I didn’t know how the heck to approach this question so I pulled that above answer out of my own ass, then promptly died a little inside as I handed my packet to him.

He says that this average is pretty consistent with past averages for the summer calc course. These averages are always lower than the averages of a regular semester-long course, which is to be expected because the pace of this summer course is insane. My second midterm is in one week and I’m 7 homework assignments behind!


Next ten set of questions to take my mind off of scary math things.

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or, Why I Am Stupid for Choosing to Attend One of the Most Rigorous Colleges in the Country.

Sophomore year is consuming my very souuuuuuuul.

As you can see by my 4 month absence from this journal.

Sorry ’bout that.


I’ve finally returned home and will hopefully have more posts during my 5-week vacation.

I’ll provide a scattered summary on what’s happened in the past millennium.

1. I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP FANDOM. I still love NEWS as much as before (okay… maybe not that much because I was seriously scary obsessed then). I just have no time for fandom things other than quickly checking for any important updates, and even then I might be a bit late. Usually I would find out about new singles and super significant things like THE EPIC AWESOMENESS OF WORLD QUEST BEING USED FOR THE FIFA WORLD CUP JAPAN HOLY SHIZZIT CONGRATULATIONSSSSS really early on, like just as it’s announced. But nope, not anymore. I can’t do that. No time to watch any of their TV appearances or even glance at their magazine spreads. Sadness. ): Although I think I’ve replayed WORLD QUEST ~300 times already. That song has such a hopeful, NEWS-y sound reminiscent of songs like “Fly Again” and “Full Swing” that I just love. The other song of unpronounceable title (Pokopeoewmfwjwnvdk) is too silly-happy for my taste but I’ve grown to like it. The other tracks are lovely too but World Quest is still my favorite from this single.

A most strange thing has happened to me, though, regarding NEWS. Tegoshi is still my favorite, that hasn’t changed. Buuuut… I don’t find him as beautiful as I did before. Hmm. :/ I think he is objectively an attractive person with pretty features but I no longer spaz out at the sight of his face. Hmm hmm. :/ :/ :/

I really don’t know if I will be able to fangirl anymore in this journal. Maybe if something truly excites me, but I haven’t even watched much of the Tegomass 3rd Live DVD yet which is a pretty big thing. I guess this will revert back to a strictly “real life” journal like it was pre-discovery of NEWS.

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Hobo Chronicles: Day 1

My summer class started today! I’m taking an English class on the short narrative. The short story! I like creative writing, so I think I’ll have a good time in this class. It’s three days a week for four weeks, 2.75 hours each day. It’s supposed to be a lot of work, even more so in the summer because this semester-long course is squished into less than a month. Oh boy.

The problem is this: The class is in the evening. I am not paying for housing. The train doesn’t run. I have nowhere to stay.

And so begins my chronicles as a hobo.

I’ve packed as lightly as I could since I have to carry my backpack everywhere. It’s still a bit harder walking great distances under the hot sun with an extra 15 pounds on your back. The train ride is about 35 minutes long, but it takes just as much time for me to walk to where I need to be. If it rains during one of these days, I will probably be hating life the entire time I’m walking to class.

I’ve decided to camp in the campus center for the night. It’s actually quite comfy. :D And dinner tonight has been 1 huge-ass apple, two bags of baked chips, and a cup of ramen. There’s no microwave/hot water around here so I let the noodles soak in cold water for an hour before eating.

While sitting here typing this up, two custodians came in and asked if it was okay if they played a few games of pool in the room. (There’s a pool table right in front of me because this is a lounge of sorts.)

I’m so exhausted right now. But The Old Man is taking me home in the morning since tomorrow is my off day, so I guess I’ll sleep now. A 6pm class was not the smartest of ideas.

Until next time,

~ Mimi >_<

Misadventures of Mimi: Intoxicated


According to CDJapan, these are the songs picked by fans to be included in the album. Three of my four made it! Endless Summer, I.ZA.NA.I.ZU.KI, and… BAMBINA. :D :D :D :D :D :D

I highly doubt they would re-record all of these, though, so boo.


This makes me so happy I could squish someone in jubilous joy! I love that they’re being fair to all the members and included an equal number of solo songs for each. They MUST be rerecording, right? I mean, most of these songs have only ever been performed live, and I read somewhere that these won’t be live versions.

Ooh, my ears are sooo ready to hear Pumpkin, Stars, and Uri Sarang! I’m not the biggest fan of Shige’s songs, I’m afraid. I still love you? :)

The thing is… these two tracklists are on two different editions.


I’m not even sure if I should get one CD, let alone both editions. I have no money left and I already made my parents shell out over $2.3k for one measly summer course (it’s on the short narrative!). We’ll just have to see. Maybe I’ll go for the single…?

. . .

I think it’s about time to tell some college tales NOT related to schoolwork, hmm? To celebrate the end of my tumultuous first year at college!

Remember how I swore I would never ever drink because I didn’t like the taste of alcohol?

I lied.

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Part III: Love Story [in doubt]

(Other parts: i, ii, iv, v, ivvii)

The following journal entry is sponsored by Pinterest. Pinterest: It will steal your soul. Seriously, I got so distracted by that website (as demonstrated by my 800+ pins) that I have obviously spent far more hours on that than on homework.

My GPA: *cries*


I was supposed to be at a no-clothes-allowed party the Friday after the events with Manny on Saturday. No, not a nude party; we could wear anything but clothes. Sherry and her roommate Sera used duct tape and garbage bags to construct their dresses. I would have gone along but I swear my medicine is a sedative. So I passed out and woke up just as the party started at ten. Sure, I had time to assemble makeshift clothing before the party ended four hours later, but instead I got distracted and spent my Friday night crocheting and talking to my neighbor Faith about boys.

My college life, it is sad.

I returned to my room from Faith’s at one in the morning. If I had decided to go to sleep right then, the second meeting with Manny wouldn’t have happened and who knows if we’d be together now. But then Manny sent me a text, jolting me awake, and that kept me busy until four-thirty. I hate that we have to rely on texts to keep us connected but I guess it’s a necessary evil.

I promise, journal, I’m not going to describe every SMS conversation we have, just this one, significant because it was our first lengthy convo over text and because of what it led to.

He had casually asked about my plans for the next day. Upon finding out that I had none, he suggested that I come visit him, adding that he would come see me if it weren’t for his job.

This conversation had a bit of a flirty edge to it, and so it made me wonder for the hundredth time what his intentions were. I reacted coolly by pointing out that he had seen me just a week ago: wouldn’t he mind seeing me two weeks in a row? Inwardly, though, I was like YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES.

He responded by telling me in such a squee-worthy way that he wanted to see me. I think I really did squee, whatever squeeing is. That was all it took for me to agree. :Db And that was how I ended up at his dorm that Saturday night.

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Tegomass will be on Shounen Club Premium soon! They’ll be doing an interview and performance. I think. I picked this up from a Japanese blog and I’m just guessing from what I can read. Hopefully my Japanese class will change that…? Yup, I’m taking Japanese, DAMN YOU NEWS. This is why I prefer keeping fandom and real life separate. >___<

. . .

Well, it only took me a decade of STUPIDLY OBVIOUS symptoms to find out that I’ve been suffering from social phobia, or social anxiety disorder.

The bottom half of this page explains the disorder better than I can, but in short, it’s an irrational fear of embarrassing myself, bothering others, and being hated, criticized, or rejected. The worst part is that I’m aware it’s irrational and weird. I still can’t help it.

I had NO IDEA that such a disorder actually existed and thank the Lord I’m not alone! — until I came across the term while Googling my phone issue. Turns out that my phone phobia can be part of social anxiety disorder. And then I read through symptoms and causes and took some diagnostic tests and realized – holy crap, someone has been spying on be because my biography is all over the internet. It all makes sense now.

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for the sake of tradition

First day at college. Fast forward a busy day to 10:00 pm. Resident advisors burst into the middle of the common room meeting — scream that there’s a fire, fire, everybody get the hell out. Walked us ten minutes across campus, all the while hollering our residential hall chants at the top of our lungs and trying to out-holler other res halls.

Then they told us to jump in the lake.

Wasn’t that cold. Just wet.

Man, I love this place already. ♥