your face is offensive on so many levels

Two posts in one day what.

With DOMA declared unconstitutional and Prop 8 destroyed, the United States has taken a step closer to equality! My super liberal college is home to quite a few queer chicks and so Facebook has been flooded with cheers from lesbian friends and allies and, I don’t know, human beings.

Then again. People like this still exist:

bye doma

Initially I was gonna dismiss this article and not bother with it, but curiosity got the better of me and I clicked on it to find out exactly why this dickweed thinks overturning DOMA is “offensive on so many levels.”

Was really really hoping she wouldn’t bring God into this and yet again give religious folks a bad name. But alas, she does. Call us immoral or whatever, but not all of us believe in your God. I actually do, but somehow I doubt He’d be an advocate for all this hate.

stahp plz

Just sit down, Bachmann. We don’t have time for your bigotry. At least I don’t. I SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR MY FINAL TOMORROW OMG.

Until next time,

~ Mimi )’:

Ten a Day (31-40) and a Sleepover Tale

Lil bro is a true engineer in the making. Check out his first set of SAT scores.

sat scores

Dat perfect math score. ಠ_ಠ

For comparison, two sets of my scores are here and here.

I laughed at him for his reading and writing scores. Then I promptly shut up upon seeing his math score. I’m not exactly exaggerating whenever I call him a human calculator. I’ve been struggling with some (read: all) of my calc homework and The Pest has been able to glance at some of the problems and instantly spit out an answer. He also practices long multiplication (example: 52582729 x 32593274) on a daily basis.

Anyway, my class is ending soon. Just finished my second midterm a few days ago and my final is tomorrow.

!!!!!!

I would like a B of some sort. Don’t know if that’s gonna happen but I just need to study super hard and maybe I will magically understand numbers in the span of 24 hours when I failed to do so in the past 20 years. It really does not help that temperatures have been in the 90s in my air conditioner-less college, resulting in sweat dripping off the ends of my hair and my skin feeling like I’ve been rolling in maple syrup.

Also, the friend whom I’d been staying with had gone home for a few days and locked the door to her room. That means I have been without my bedding, showering supplies, and every other toiletry necessary for cleanliness. My period starting just adds to the ickiness.

Manny came to visit last night after being wrongly guided 40 minutes in the wrong direction by his GPS. After a wordless dinner with me and watching me be lifeless and miserable in the passenger seat (1 hour of sleep + super hot day of sticky sweat + failing the midterm + crying in the library for failing said midterm + PMS + not having a place to stay), he decided to take me home with him.

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Until death do us part

Little girls are supposed to dream of marrying the guy of her dreams and having several darling little children and living happily ever after until you die.

Some time after entering college, I realized that my dream doesn’t include a Mr. Perfect.

(Or a Mrs. Perfect, since I’m somewhat flexible in my sexuality… or romanticity? I don’t like touching girl parts. Anyway, since I mostly like boys I’ll speak as if they’re the only option for me.)

I don’t want to get married. Ever. That includes living with a boyfriend for the rest of my life with our kids, which is basically marriage without the official stuff.

I guess I sorta still believe in a Mr. Right, though. If I find him, maybe then he’ll completely and utterly change my mind. Since I haven’t met him yet, I don’t know what kind of power he’ll have over my emotions and life so as for now marriage continues to be a no no.

On a sadder note, that probably means Manny isn’t that Mr. Right, even though the guy has made it pretty clear that he thinks I’m The One.

…He has explicitly said I WANT TO MARRY YOU and thus this will not be a pretty break-up.

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Part VII: Love Story [and beyond]

Last part after too long.

SO DONE WITH SOPHOMORE YEAR.

(Previous parts: i, ii, iii, iv, v, iv.)

Manny feels very deeply.

He just doesn’t show it.

Enter me, who is dumb and ignorant and can’t read atmospheres and vomits words.  Because of this, I hurt him often, always unintentionally and without realizing it until too late. I still do this.

So for some reason, telling him that we should cut off all communication for a while had hurt him far more than it should have, i.e. not at all. I probably should have explained my reasoning better. Oh well. I could only bear three days of this before caving.

(During this time I also idiotically started the list that would ultimately become this because, you know, that is exactly what you do when you’re trying to forget someone.)

He didn’t respond well. To word it gently, he told me to leave him alone.

“Leave me alone” is one of the worst things you can say to me ever. No matter what the context, it immediately fills me with guilt and self-loathing. You hate me and everything is my fault, and so I will immediately stop talking to you. I have a pretty avoidant personality, in which I will run and run and run the moment there is a conflict of any sort. (Example: Expecting a really important negative email = DO NOT CHECK EMAIL FOR WEEKS.) It’s really selfish to feel like this and to do these things, but I can’t help it. It’s become an automatic coping mechanism.

After having that dagger plunged between my ribs, I should have run. Like usual. I should have been weak and given up on ever earning back his friendship.

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Pridelands

I don’t know what Tegomass is doing with this new single. Not sure if gusta.

. . .

Been a while since the events happened but I’ll post a short thing anyway.

Tough few weeks in Massachusetts.

My college is located many miles outside of the capital, but I’ve lived there my entire life. I grew up in a dangerous section of Boston so as desensitized as I’ve become to violence, news of death will garner hardly a blink from me.

We’ve never been terrorized before, though. This is different from the usual robberies and rapes and gang violence. In such an extremely proud city, this is why people care so much.

I wonder how relevant last week’s Boston marathon bombings and related events are to people who live outside Massachusetts. The plant explosion in Texas was huge and tragic and happened right after the marathon, but other than a post or two about it on Facebook, people here didn’t seem to pay much attention to it.

It’s one thing to hear about events of terror. It’s another thing to have it happen in the city you lived in your entire life. PLUS, the street where the bombings occurred? I go there almost every week. Pretty unnerving.

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Part VI: [a troubled] Love Story

Well. Um. This is gonna be a challenge, writing about the past and having to forget the past year or so for a while..

(Other parts: i, ii, iii, iv, v, vii)

I am a dreamer, not a doer. I am the sort of girl who is content with sitting in front of a notebook or laptop all day, conjuring up worlds that I’d love to explore, characters I wished I could meet, and lives I wanted to have — because that was all I was able to do in this prison of a home.

Manny doesn’t dream; he plans AND he does. He is also the sort of boy who joined his high school cheerleading team just so he could flirt with the girls — and ended up dating the head cheerleader.

And yet, despite my best efforts to not get too attached to someone who contradicted every quality I would like in a partner, despite NOT BELIEVING it could happen, I fell in love with this very boy.

Have I ever mentioned this, journal? That I am the biggest skeptic of this so-called teenage love thing? Well, now you know. Yeah, I am such a romantic, I know. That must make me a hypocrite because I often write about teenage love even though I didn’t think it was real. (Cardcaptor Sakura, yes, they are all like 12.) But then it happened to me. I call it love now because that’s the only word I have for it, but to be honest, I can’t be sure that these current feelings of “love” will be the same feelings that I will ultimately have for the person I marry. (Marriage… I mentioned before that this deserves a post of its own. Because I’m not getting married.) Probably not, right? They say you truly fall in love just once, “they” being hopeless romantics. I am not one of those; I’m more realistic romantic, if such a thing exists. I believe that my sort of love is only a lesser version of that “true love.” Both certainly are genuine feelings, though! They’re just on different levels.

But I’m getting ahead of myself here. I should first go back to when I felt that transition from like to love.

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dead

or, Why I Am Stupid for Choosing to Attend One of the Most Rigorous Colleges in the Country.

Sophomore year is consuming my very souuuuuuuul.

As you can see by my 4 month absence from this journal.

Sorry ’bout that.

fmaesxdcgije.

I’ve finally returned home and will hopefully have more posts during my 5-week vacation.

I’ll provide a scattered summary on what’s happened in the past millennium.

1. I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP FANDOM. I still love NEWS as much as before (okay… maybe not that much because I was seriously scary obsessed then). I just have no time for fandom things other than quickly checking for any important updates, and even then I might be a bit late. Usually I would find out about new singles and super significant things like THE EPIC AWESOMENESS OF WORLD QUEST BEING USED FOR THE FIFA WORLD CUP JAPAN HOLY SHIZZIT CONGRATULATIONSSSSS really early on, like just as it’s announced. But nope, not anymore. I can’t do that. No time to watch any of their TV appearances or even glance at their magazine spreads. Sadness. ): Although I think I’ve replayed WORLD QUEST ~300 times already. That song has such a hopeful, NEWS-y sound reminiscent of songs like “Fly Again” and “Full Swing” that I just love. The other song of unpronounceable title (Pokopeoewmfwjwnvdk) is too silly-happy for my taste but I’ve grown to like it. The other tracks are lovely too but World Quest is still my favorite from this single.

A most strange thing has happened to me, though, regarding NEWS. Tegoshi is still my favorite, that hasn’t changed. Buuuut… I don’t find him as beautiful as I did before. Hmm. :/ I think he is objectively an attractive person with pretty features but I no longer spaz out at the sight of his face. Hmm hmm. :/ :/ :/

I really don’t know if I will be able to fangirl anymore in this journal. Maybe if something truly excites me, but I haven’t even watched much of the Tegomass 3rd Live DVD yet which is a pretty big thing. I guess this will revert back to a strictly “real life” journal like it was pre-discovery of NEWS.

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