Slow and Steady

Let’s talk Mahou no Melody, shall we? The song and the PV preview and SCP guesting. :DDD

Yeah. I admit that I had the song playing on loop for a good three hours. Not good, journal, not good. What if I become sick of it by the time my album comes? D: I just love the song and how Tegomass-y it sounds <3, though I wouldn’t say it’s a very strong song to use to promote the album to casual/non-fans. It think it might take others a little longer to get into it, or to like it at all.

The PV? All I can say is…


Haha, sorry, couldn’t help it. I do wonder why Tegoshi is wearing so much eye makeup, though. I was wearing pink eyeshadow and eyeliner last night (erm, more about that day in a future post -___-) and I’m not sure how it makes me feel to have Tegoshi do the same LOL. It’s a good thing I already like girls or else I would be quite confused over my feelings toward that guy; he really is too pretty in the PV!

His costume is interesting, that’s all I can say. :P Massu’s costume, on the other hand, looks awesome! More magician-like than Tegoshi’s, at least. The hat suits him. ^o^ Oh, and what Massu’s wearing the other half of the time:

He looks so good afaekgvjenalk. *___________*

I think they (especially Tegoshi) might have practiced swaying in the PV a little too much, because when it came time for their SCP guesting…


Mahou no Melody has a very smooth, sway-inducing sound, I have to admit, but I couldn’t help giggling at how often that man kept swaying back and forth throughout the whole performance. It certainly kept me entertained. A lot of fans have expressed concern about how girly Tegoshi’s been acting lately. Well…

I just think it’s totally adorable!

Massu was perfect as always and all the fans I’ve heard from seem to agree. What else do you want me to say about him? He’s flawless! Both of them, their vocals were soooo good. And that collaboration? Oh man, that should have been included in the album! <3 Listening to them and seeing them perform made me see just how much I missed watching NEWS members. ;__;

So anyway.

Did you know that Massu and Nakamaru are going to star in a drama/infomercial thing soon? And I hear Massu’s character might be a flirt? Wheeee~

. . .

Current update: Sorry, journal, but Benji and I aren’t going anywhere in this relationship. Unless you count friendship as going somewhere? Anyway, HE AND I ARE NOT HAPPENING LIKE THAT.

Flashback: A group of guys heading home early from some on-campus parties a few weeks ago were eyeing me hard as I — struggling to walk in a straight line, eyes red, eyelids heavy as bricks — literally stumbled out of the bus at half past midnight with a boy’s jacket five sizes too big draped across my shoulders.

Uh, this looks bad, doesn’t it?


Reddish eyes, hard to stay open: Fell asleep on the bus with contacts in. Eyes got irritated and dry and the sharp, cold, night air makes it uncomfortable to keep them open.

Struggling to walk like a normal person: Dead tireeeeeeeeed. It was 12:30 after being out all day, after all.

Stumbling out of the bus: It was dark. Tripped on the bus steps. :P

The boy’s jacket: Benji’s, of course~

He was taking the train with me back to the bus that goes to my college — because it was late and that’s a creep’s natural habitat and I would normally insist on doing things by myself but I really did not want to be alone there — and I was pretty obviously cold so he lent me his jacket.

I hung out with him and his friends again at a huge college event in Boston yesterday so I gave it back to him then.

Speaking of the city, I love how it’s only been a month and I’m already doing hordes of Things That My Parents Would Never Approve Of.  Like…

  1. Lying about doing nothing but studying all day.*
  2. Leaving campus.
  3. Leaving campus and using public transportation by myself.
  4. Leaving campus and using public transportation to get to the heart of Massachusetts, aka Boston.
  5. Walking all around Boston with three other people, two of whom I’d met only once before.**
  6. Getting even a hundred meters near the perimeter of Hempfest.***
  7. Sitting on a bed in a dorm room with two guys, door left open.
  8. Lying on a boy’s bed with the boy two feet from me at his computer, door closed and lights off.****
  9. Using public transportation at midnight.*****

*Well, actually, that’s kind of true, haha. It is a ton of work but I’m not doing it 24/7 like Mama thinks I am. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. ;)

Me (yesterday, waiting for a train at 9 at night with Benji and Manny): Asdfghjkl one missed call from my dad. D8
Me (10:30 that night after I got back): Oh, haha, what’s up, Old Man?…What? I missed your call?…Sorry, I fell asleep STUDYING SO HARD and didn’t hear the phone.

…Should anyone reading this become a parent in the future, DO NOT extremely restrict your child’s freedom or else they’re gonna end up like me. Sure, they’ll listen to you when they’re kids, but let them loose in college and… look at the bad person I’ve become. TT-TT

**September 17th’s Boston excursion involved Cappa, Benji, Manny, and myself. And one of Benji’s friends from high school joined us for a bit but mainly it was the four of us. Cappa was trying to make the thing seem like a double date because she was clearly flirting with Manny (even though she has a boyfriend, what?) and kept not-so-subtly shifting our walking arrangements so that Benji and I would always be walking side-by-side.

She’s one of the loveliest friends I’ve ever had. She’s also the most embarrassing friend I’ll likely ever make. Like, when she arrived after making us wait for her for 45 minutes, the first thing she did was hug me. Then she pulled back, looked at me, looked at Benji, looked at me again and saw me blushing hard because of what she was doing, placed her hand over her heart, and sighed, “Awww.”

Later, we passed by a section of sidewalk that, for some reason, had a gigantic impression of a footprint in it. Cappa quite literally pushed Benny into the footprint, shoved me against him, and forcibly took his arm and put it around me, all for commemorative photos of the event.


It does not help at all that a few of my friends kept “liking” the photos on Facebook. (I’m looking at you, girlie.)

***Hempfest. Exactly what it sounds like. A festival for lovers of marijuana. People want weed legalized like regular cigarettes are, so on that day there was a mass “protest” of pot smokers on this huuuuuuuge field in the heart of Boston.

So. Many. People. So. Much. Grass. (<— Haha, get it? :D :D) They were mostly college-aged kids looking to get high on the weekend. But seriously, there was so many of them taking drags at the same time that a thick, visible cloud of smoke hung over the entire area. I didn’t get close enough to really smell it, but I could detect a bit of an odd sweetness in the air. Benji’s roommate, who claims he’s not a drug addict but does smoke some joints once or twice a month, decided to go in for a bit while the rest of us headed off exploring.

Not gonna lie: I… kind of wanted to follow him in there. NOT TO SMOKE of course. Just to see what it was like. I was curious. :P

When Manny returned to us (and that took a while because he was a bit high and unintelligible and would not stay where we wanted him to stay) he was lot more giggly than usual and stumbled a lot. ^–^

How many slang terms for marijuana did I just use in the above section?

****The four of us were watching a movie in Benji and Manny’s room at night. Manny had to walk out somewhere and he didn’t want to get shot (this is Boston, guys Dx) so Cappa went with him, leaving Benji and me alone. In the dark. With the door closed.

Believe it or not, that’s the first time I’ve ever been left alone with a guy before. Benji is a nice guy, though, so I tried my best to push the anxiety down and focus on the film. I got through it fine, but…

It wasn’t even a very good movie. :/

*****I had to get back before the train/bus stopped running or else I would be stranded there. It wasn’t that late at night for a college student, but it was still late, about 11:00. Since I possess not an ounce of street smarts and the city can be dangerous and I get lost easily and when I’m scared I turn into this living target inviting bad people to jump me — Benji helped me find my way back.

Pfffffft, we got lost anyway. We ended up having to ask these two Japanese guys longboarding in the dead of night for directions. (I felt bad for eavesdropping on their conversations because I could kind of understand them.) Benji lent me his jacket because it was freezing and he has skin of steel apparently.

Parting ways… was awkward. I didn’t know if I should hug him or shake his hand or what, so I just waved like a derp and said goodbye. -///-

That was the end of that.

JOURNAL, it’s way too soon for this. I know all my friends have been cheering me on, but Benji and I don’t go that way. In fact, the two of us mutually decided over Facebook (not in person, God no D:) that we should remain strictly friends, since he’s not looking for a relationship right now (partially due to emotional scarring from his previous one, and probably partially because I’m being wicked difficult about things) and I am obviously not ready for such a commitment. Sorry for getting people’s hopes up with my last entry, but I’m honestly thrilled with these arrangements. :D I’ll write more about it when I’m done with midterms/essays/questions/problem sets/reading whole books in a few days, etc., but when I hung out with him yesterday with the mentality of “We’re just friends,” I was much happier and relaxed. So yeah. :D He’s still gonna be in my life, just… not in that way.

Although, Benji isn’t helping by continuously sending me messages and being slightly flirty and telling me I’m perfect and cute and WHAT THE HELL DOES HE WANT FROM ME ASDKJEGNGNDKF.

Don’t you see why all guys shouldn’t get involved with me?

I had my first and second therapy appointments a while ago. They were half-hour sessions of the counselor trying to get a feel of what’s going on. Initially the whole thing was arranged for me to get answers about why I’m so socially anxious, but the counselor decided to focus more on why I’d been getting randomly and gut-wrenchingly sad lately.

It’s apparently either a phase, clinical depression, or bipolar disorder.

I don’t think it’s any of those. :/ I certainly hope it’s not the last two. I’m sure it’s just the change of environment. Not worthy of checking myself into a hospital like the therapist insisted I do if this continues on.

Anyway! Let’s take a break from boy issues and mental problems and such. How about talking a bit about the fabulous world of college life, eh? I’ve been talking way too much about my life outside of campus.


This, this, and this = my life right now.


Save meeeeeeeeeeee.

Until next time,

~ Mimi D8

P.S. I never did go to that on-campus party because I was out all night with my Boston friends. Well, actually, there was still an hour and a half of the party left when I returned, but I was just too tired to head down and dance more. Parties here are organized by different student organizations, and this one was by the Korean Student Association. Which meant that they only played K-pop the entire night.

Er, huge J-pop fan here. I’ll pass. >__>

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