No More Chocolate Before Bed (Dream Batch #4)

Tegoshi: On location for ‘ItteQ’ I spent 3 nights in Las Vegas but the breakfast I ate then was this. Waffles and cornflakes, toast and then scrambled eggs. They were all carbohydrates so it was heavy~ I was sad that there were no vegetables at all. Having the same breakfast for 3 days made me really want white rice and miso soup.
(with minor corrections from me, gracious credits to hellomichi@lj for translating during my lapse of NEWS withdrawal)

Welcome to America, Tegoshi darling. :P He sounds like me when I’m eating, haha. My head is programmed to automatically analyze food in terms of nutrition. Forever blaming AP Bio for influencing my inability to eat clams as clams and not “a great source of omega-3s, iron, and protein.”

I’m a freak. ;__;

Anyway, I finally got to listen to that song Tegomass sang during the fireworks festival event! I’ll respect the uploader’s request to not let it spread throughout the internet, so I can’t link to Hanabi here. ):

I loooove it! It has an uplifting J-poppy sound, typical of Tegomass, with the drums and piano and trumpet. Is that a violin I hear in the background? How odd. :/ I didn’t like Hanabi much at first, which always terrifies me because one of my fears is hating their songs — but I needed not worry! ‘Twas just me being me, hatin’ all songs at the first listen.

I’d be stoked if this song makes it into Tegomass’s new album. I heard that they confirmed the new album during the festival. Ohh, that explains why the two of them have been together often in magazine shoots. I wonder what the title is, and whether they’re gonna stick with the “Tegomasu no ________” that they like using for major releases. I’m not sure how much higher they can go than “Ai.”

You know, one reason I love Tegomass is their very Japanese sound. Hmm, how can I explain this? They have this unique musical sound that you can’t find outside of Japan. I ADORE that about them. Whether it’s the instruments (Shikisai), melody (Aoi Bench), or lyrical content (Tadaima, Okaeri), they just scream JAPAN in everything they do.

And, oh, most song titles actually in Japanese? Whole songs with minimal or no Engrish? No wonder I love their music so. I swear, if someone ever talks Tegomass into auto-tuning their voices, that someone is going to be in for a whole lot of Mimi hurting.

. . .

Um.

I remember pledging that I have to archive my dreams, no matter how boring, strange, silly, disturbing, or, um, sensual they may be. Fortunately I haven’t had many of the last type — that I can recall, anyway — but I earlier this week I awoke remembering way too much of the worst part of the most realistic sexual dream I’ve ever had. -///-

Are you supposed to experience extreme emotions while dreaming?

I hope I’ve made it blatant in this journal that I’m not that kind of person. Sure, I’ve enjoyed my fair share of naked idols and I’ll giggle at pervy humor, but the vast majority of the time I’m this mega prude. One could say it’s like I was raised in a convent. So this is EXTREMELY difficult for me to type out because I have to envision (lol I’m so sleepy that I just tried to type “envisualize”) the dream all over again. My face gets hot just thinking about it, so I’ll spare you the messy details and glaze over things. Dx

I have trouble remembering the beginning of the dream, like always. I do know that I’m in trouble. Something’s attacking me, lots of somethings. I can’t remember what they look like, just that they’re each dark colored (almost shadowy), cat-sized, and not human.

Then this really hot guy (and I mean incredibly hot, like bronzed Greek god hot) shows up out of nowhere and saves me from the demonic beasts. I have never seen this guy before in real life, and I’ve heard it’s unlikely for you to dream about strangers, so I don’t know where he came from. He’s a big guy — not big as in chubby, but he’s broad shouldered and lightly muscled and a head taller than me. Actually, if I think hard about his face, I think he resembles the fedora’d Shirota Yuu in his newest PV (yes, clearly I need to stop watching that fifty times a day now that it’s influencing my subconscience) except with dirty blond hair.

He does have a name… one that I can’t remember. It’s a western one, so that rules out the possibility that he’s an Asian idol. He doesn’t even look Asian, anyway. He’s tan and Caucasian-looking with some Hispanic undertones. Like I said — think Shirota Yuu.

So yeah, dream-me must know this unnamed hero well (or at least know OF him; I sense that he’s a celebrity), because I magically know that, at twenty-seven years old, he’s nearly a freaking decade my senior and I’m sure by this point that this dream is breaking some age of consent law somewhere in the world. In real life I generally prefer guys closer to my age — note how I go after the youngest NEWS member, for example. :Dv

I also feel that my dream self has a mountain-sized crush on the man. It’s really bad: the kind where you turn into a quivering puddle of girl mush when he so much as glances your way. Dream-me admires this man on the fangirl level. That bad.

He did save my life, so I ask him if there’s anything I can do to repay him for such a heroic deed. Since dream-me seems to think highly of him as a virtuous person, his answer shocks me to the very core.

“I always sleep with the girls I rescue.”

Paraphrased, of course. I’ve gotten this far in describing the dream but I can’t bring my fingers to type his exact words. o///o

I’m so infatuated with the man that I only have a brief mental battle with my conscience before agreeing to his terms, DON’T JUDGE ME JOURNAL. I had sat through a rather awkward morality class two years ago and I know it’s wrong, but if the idol of your dreams — no pun intended — appears before your eyes and wants to get in your pants, well, depending on how strongly you adhere to your morals, you’d probably say yes.

I vividly remember being embarrassed because I hate my legs in real life and dream-me still has those same legs and dream-me certainly does not want Hot Guy to see them. Fortunately, the dream has that covered; it immediately adjusts the atmosphere to a more suitable ambiance, i.e. dimmed lights and magically floating candles.

Soooooo. Fast-forward to the after part.

That’s when it hits me like a cinderblock to the skull: regret, so strong that it nearly knocks me out. My dream self has just lost her virginity to someone who doesn’t love her at all — someone SHE doesn’t truly love, either. (Uh, just to clarify, real life me is still a virgin, in case I haven’t made it clear that I’m #foreveralone.)

The man exits the room shortly after he got what he wants, leaving me to cry in a dark room over my ruptured innocence. And that’s the end of it.

As you can see, not a terribly unique dream. What sets it apart from my other dreams is that I can feel. I’ve never felt such strong emotions in a dream before, or in real life, even. Those wrenching feelings of remorse, of guilt, of self-hate and of wanting to curl up into a ball forever — I NEVER want to experience them again, omg. DD: I actually woke myself up. It felt like something was tearing my soul apart with jagged teeth.

Oh, I hope to GOD this isn’t a prophetic dream because I can totally imagine my inexperienced self being this dumb with a man in the future. I think I relayed these fears to someone before, but I get the feeling that I’ll someday come crying to this journal that I let a disguised rapist lead me into an alley. ;A;

I SUCK at interacting with men. My college assigns each student something called a faculty advisor, who helps you with selecting classes and guides you through college. Mine is a man — a poet — and I’m absolutely terrified. It does not help AT ALL that he’s not ugly.

So yeah. Don’t know what to make of this dream. Maybe it’s telling me to be careful with the college dating scene? Pshh, not very likely that you’ll be seeing this girl write about hot hook-ups any time soon. :P At one point in my life when I attended a co-ed school, five boys liked me at once. I’m not bragging; I was a lot prettier as a child. TT-TT I had no idea they liked me, and since I showed no interest beyond friendship they didn’t dare approach me.

Maybe… I’ll give one of those MIT frat parties that my school is always invited to a try, but if anyone forces alcohol upon me I’m leaving and never coming back.

Continuing on from that tangent~

It’s been a while since I dreamed about NEWS members, and this week it occurred twice!

In the first one, it’s just Tegoshi and me. I’m in a white sundress, undoubtedly influenced by interviews where Tego mentioned he likes girls with a pure, feminine image. Can’t recall what Tegoshi has on, though. His hair is reddish-brown and styled in the Tanabata Matsuri era perm. I entered fandom during this time and I guess that’s my preferred Tego-style? It makes him look his age, and makes me feel like less of a pedo when I fawn over him while he looks younger than me.

We’re sitting together on a park bench in the most perfect park I’ve ever seen, real life or otherwise. Flowers, trees, shrubbery, swing sets, fountains, parents with chubby-faced offspring — the whole deal. Quite fitting for a meeting with one’s favorite Japanese idol, I must say.

Here’s the thing: I’m a spastic wreck. That’s good. At least I’m acting like myself for once.

I refuse to look at his Face of Flawlessness. I’m trying to string together my bits of limited Japanese vocabulary into coherent sentences, but I’ve never studied the grammar so I must be making a complete fool of myself.

Tegoshi laughs at my pitiful attempts at conversation. He tilts his head down so he can look me in the face. I’m about to faint. Then he starts chatting amiably to me in perfect English. English. Not Engrish.

The dream ends here, probably because I lose consciousness at how great he sounds speaking my language. :P

I don’t remember much of the next dream at all. I know Tegoshi and Koyama are in it. They’re both in the same sports car, partners in a race. Koyama’s the driver, I think, looking rather spiffy in his racing suit and helmet. ^____^

They win! As expected of them. :D My role in the dream is a journalist, and I’m in charge of writing about the two winners. Dream-me takes this chance to pour my heart out about these two brilliant guys. In fact, most of my article isn’t about the race at all; it’s mostly extreme NEWS pimping, talking about their achievements on the Oricon chart, both factual and made up. Lol I know for sure I made up the part about “their newest top-selling single, ‘When Dreams Come Alive.'”

I even miss them in my dreams, if that song title is any indication. ;__;

I’m sleeeeeepy now. I should stop going to bed at two, three in the morning or else college life will be like high school part ii. .__.

Until next time,

~ Mimi :D

 P.S. ONE WEEK TILL COLLEGE.

2 thoughts on “No More Chocolate Before Bed (Dream Batch #4)

  1. Hmm… I actually had a dream about being raped before and I was really frightened when I woke up, so I actually Googled about it and I managed to find out what it means when you dream of being raped. I don’t know if it’s rape in your case, because it seems kind of consensual, but then again you feel horrible after it, but in any case, here is what it means if you dream of being raped.

    “To dream that you have been raped, indicates vengeful feelings toward the opposite sex. You are feeling violated in some way or being taken advantage of. Something or someone is jeopardizing your self-esteem and emotional well-being. You feel that someone or something is being forced upon you. Dreams of rape are also common for those who were actually raped in their waking life.

    To see a rape being committed in your dream, denotes sexual dysfunction or uncertainty.” – Credits to thebigd on Yahoo!Answers for this.

    I also found a site about dream interpretations, so I think it might be useful in helping you to decode what your dream meant!

    http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamthemes/sex.htm

    Hope that you won’t dream about these sorts of things or have to experience those intense emotions again. I felt horrible when I woke up from my dream about being raped as well. Good luck in college!

  2. Ooh, thanks for the link! Lol the topics of that page made me uncomfortable. But it was enlightening!
    How troublesome it is being so prissy. D:

    You’re right, it was definitely consensual at first. But with how I felt afterward, it might as well have been forced. That analysis sounds creepily accurate to me. :O I don’t HATE men, but I have trouble talking to them because I’m scared they would touch me, even accidentally. I guess I’m more worried than I thought about having a male faculty advisor… whom I have to talk to… often… alone…

    If it becomes too problematic I might have to request someone else. Though explaining why might be an issue… Anyway, thanks for the insight! I’ll be stopping by that site often for my many questionable dreams. :P

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