Not much fangirling for today. Mostly fan-reflecting.
NEWS fans are naturally paranoid. That’s practically part of the description of a NEWS fan: Must be cheery, hopeful, and paranoid. Can you blame us? When every single other Johnny’s group is getting work, NEWS is not. Not together, anyway. Cohesiveness has never been one of their strengths, so of course we’re gonna be perpetually teetering on the edge of our seats, breaths held, waiting for something to happen, good or bad.
Now, sparked by some tabloid, things seem as bleak as ever for NEWS and their fans, because Yamashita is supposedly thinking about launching his solo career. Solo, as in without the members. Yep. That old thing again.
I’m worried that I’m feeling meh about the whole thing, as though I’ve gotten so used to broken-up NEWS that bad news can’t affect me anymore.
There are two extreme types of NEWS fans, I think. There’s the ever-hopeful PI PROMISED HE WOULDN’T LEAVE NEWS I BELIEVE HIM type of fan, and the cynical I KNEW IT THAT MOTHERF****** BASTARD PLANNED THIS SINCE THE BEGINNING fan. The third type is somewhere between those, which is where I am. I want to have faith in Yamapi, but the signs have always been there that his mind is elsewhere. Take Tegomass, for example. In their interviews and concerts, they never forget that their roots are in NEWS. They’ll refer to other members and say things like “In Tegomass and in NEWS…” Unless prompted, Yamapi seems to ignore that he’s in NEWS at all during his solo tour, as though he’s outgrown the whole boy band scene. I don’t completely think he’s ready to depart, but if he does it wouldn’t surprise me.
I don’t want Yamapi to stay in NEWS if that’s not what he wants. However much WE want it, it’s not fair to him.
I’ve started thinking about this because his situation makes me think of my life. My parents do not do not do not want me to major in English. English will hold me back, deprive me of success, land me in a cardboard box in an alley, etc. Them pressuring me to go into the medical field has gotten so bad that I’ve considered doing an English/Biology double major in college. WHICH WOULD KILL ME. Then I paused and said to myself, “What am I thinking? I can’t do this just to make someone else happy while it makes me miserable.”
If he really doesn’t like being in NEWS anymore, we can’t force him to stay. Even if it means it’s the end.
Well now. Wasn’t that cheery? Have some Greek Tego to perk things up.
He’s going bungee jumping again for Itte Q, did you know? ^_________^
. . .
It’s about time I got rid of that disgusting old layout! Why, just why did I ever use that in the first place? I never liked it, not even when I created this journal. Oh, sometimes I wonder about myself.
I don’t like a lot of things about this layout too — including the font, the spacing between lines of text, and the framing around images. But mostly the font.
But it’s extra customizable so that’s why I picked it. :) I’ll be fixing up some site problems the new layout caused for the next few days, in addiction to toying around with the header and background. Don’t know if I should do something NEWS-y or try something ~artistic and pretteh~. Hmmm.
That’s not all that’s changed lately. I got a Facebook, remember? ^vv^
I have to admit, Facebook scared me. Um, still does. I’ve heard about people developing an obsession, so I figured that when you put me (an internet addict) with a time-zapping social networking site like FB, things cannot go well.
Well, fast forward a few weeks, allow the novelty of the site fade away — and here I am, sitting in front of my laptop, NOT on fb, decidedly NOT obsessed. Actually, I seldom visit the site now.
But I do I see how easy it is to waste time on that site, especially if you’re one of the more active users. Me, I’m not good with talking to people, even virtually, and that’s why I’m not that into the social networking scene. Unlike Christa, who puts up a new status with her smart phone every five minutes.
That’s one thing I discovered while on my Facebook adventures, how much time Christa spends on that site. A few other things worthy of note:
1. Middle school friends have been all “asdfghjkl where have you been, girl?” when I sprang out of nowhere with a friend request. :Dv They’ve all changed so much. O____o For example:
A. Melinda is now a bigger fan of anime than I am (but I’m not that big a fan to begin with, so yeah). She cosplayed at Anime Boston as a Hetalia character, I believe. :O
B. This formerly dumb guy is heading off to Tufts University next year, which I didn’t bother applying to because I would be flat out rejected and spat upon.
C. Markus… I don’t even know what happened to Markus. In the past few years he had been sent to a mental institution for trying to freaking kill himself D8, fell in love with a girl from that place, and got her pregnant. Whaaaaaaaaat? I still don’t know everything or if he’s even going to college at all. Seemed like a sensitive topic so I didn’t pry. But oh ;___;, he used to be such a pleasant kid. I felt like a jerk for telling him that my life is all peachy keen.
2. The girls going to college with me seem so nice and worldly! They’re all intelligent and friendly and interesting and omg I am so not going to make any friends in college. D: I am NONE of those things. Except for friendly, but I don’t act friendly and that will clearly be a problem. People [oddly] find me interesting online, but in reality I am the dullest person to walk this earth. For one thing, I am entirely comfortable with sitting in silence with someone for an hour. That does not involve me texting/playing with some other device. I mean, what kind of weirdo does that? DDD:
3. For sure, I’m gonna be the dumb one in college. I was the top of my class in middle school and one of the top students in high school. (Not bragging, just a fact.) After interacting with my future classmates — these people enjoy assigned readings in school, wtf — I just know I’ll be one of the biggest disgraces this institution has ever seen.
4. I get stupidly giddy whenever Angel leaves me a comment or likes something of mine. We’re friends but we’re not friends on the close level Adele and I are on, so I didn’t expect her to miss me. But she does! ^///^
5. The word “friend” has lost its meaning when Facebook is involved. For those who are selective when it comes to friends, well, that’s great! I, on the other hand, don’t really care that much who “friends” me on fb, unless you’re a complete stranger or you’ve done something that pissed me off really badly. I’m friends with people from high school who I know by name but not by face. Now that I see what their lives are truly like, I do not want to ever, ever further associate with them.
6. One of my middle school bullies wanted to be fb friends, as I said last entry. I sent her a message essentially saying why the hell would I do that, except much more nicely. I don’t hate her; I hate the other one who manipulated her into torturing me. Of course I got curious and looked up that other chick’s account and yes, she still looks like the same little menace I knew in the eighth grade. You would think that all these years apart would lessen my hate toward her, but nope. I don’t like violence unless it’s in video games, but seeing her bitchy face again (I don’t think I’m being too biased — she really does have that stereotypical bitch look) makes me want to kick her in the
face shin. So that it bruises.
Ooh, yeah, I’m so bad. :P
In all seriousness, you know I’m a typically relaxed person and I don’t hate anyone and I sure as heck do not think about harming anyone. “Anyone” does not include this girl. Guess it’s true that girls can hold grudges forever!
I’m secretly thrilled she’s going to a not-so-great school. :DDD
7. That future classmate/Tegomass-fan friend I made? She — unbelievingly — does not know who NEWS is. Yeah. O__O
Facebook isn’t the reason I’m STILL taking forever to write journal entries, though. No, journal, it’s just that my laziness shot up by 500% after graduation. DX If you ask me how I spend my time every day, I can’t answer because I HONESTLY DO NOT KNOW. Time just passes at light speed while I… do absolutely nothing.
I’ve been too lazy to do the things I should be doing, like catching up with fandom-related stuff (Tegomass no Ai — yeah, I still haven’t finished that, I’mabadgirl T-T — and Deka Wanko and Itte Q are the big ones, and maybe some other dramas), writing, dorm shopping, learning how to drive, all of those.
But no. Instead of doing above-mentioned things, I keep finding myself doing utterly useless things. Like playing badminton. Like reorganizing my bookcase. Like this.
I used pliers to twist small one-inch paper clips into the shape. The wire one is crafted from the same material, just with the plastic part stripped off.
I’m gonna make more because they’re so teeny and adorbs, but not right now because I have get ready for a doctor’s appointment in two hours. Byee. :D
Wait. The doctor’s.
Name: Cotton Candy. My elementary school friend Elise named her. I think this happened because I stored her with a bunch of candy and she ended up smelling like sugary goodness.
Color: Lilac with a purple bell around her neck
Place: On my keyboard in the living room. It’s not a full one with 88 keys. I think it has 64? I didn’t have enough Christmas money for a bigger one. D: It’s kind of dusty because… I hardly ever use it. xP
Other info: When I first got the keyboard, I could play it a little bit. And by “a little bit,” I mean I could easily locate middle C and all the other keys, I knew what sharps and flats are, and I could read the sheet music somewhat. Looks like those music classes in middle school came to good use after all! That year after I got the keyboard, I practiced enough to be able to play parts of some anime songs. Reaaaaally slowly and plagued with mistakes, though. And if I ever forgot the melody of a choir sing, I’d play it out. ^_____^ That sheet music up there isn’t for choir, though. Can you guess what it is? Hint: It’s a NEWS song. ♥
Until next time,
~ Mimi ;D
P.S. Was actually going to post this last night but my internet mysteriously stopped working just as I pressed publish. My life, why is it like this. ;–;