Like and Love…

Sometimes I absolutely love life.

Tegoshi Yuuko returns in episode 6 of Deka Wanko!

But I guess she’s called Kiriko here. :P

No caps from me for once because I don’t want to spoil anything. And… I don’t have the episode in my hard drive. Yet. ^___^;; Though I will say that she is preeeetty.

Tegoshi crossdressing is more than a fetish to me; I legitimately love who he becomes whenever he crossdresses, whether it be Yuuko in NEWS, Yukiko in YamaNade, or Kiriko in Deka Wanko. To me, Yuuko and Yuya aren’t the same people. Is it weird? Hell yes. There’s no way this is normal fangirl behavior. In fact, I should probably reserve my room at the local psychiatric hospital right this minute. I’ve already accepted that Yuuko will forever own my soul. <3

But I wonder: Why is he crossdressing in the first place? Did he himself request to dress up like that? Did the screenwriters create the drama with Tegoshi as Kirishima in mind? Or maybe it was a random last-minute addition because the director figured, “Tegoshi-san will be totally cool with this and it will boost ratings.” All I know is that the real Kirishima would never do such a thing.

Pssh, like I particularly care why. I just adore Tego for doing it at all for the fans, and so shamelessly too. Boy enjoys his job far too much.

Um, I think I’ve been talking about Tegoshi a lot more than usual lately. I’m sorry, journal, it’s just that he’s everywhere right now. I can’t help my love. >___<

Ah, but journal, I do want to clarify that I’m not in love with him — not romantically, anyway — despite my never ending babbles and obsessively stalking various sites for Tego activity. I know how silly it would be to genuinely fall in love with an idol. Guarantees nothing but disappointment. Obviously I like going starry-eyed over how gorgeous, stunning, sparkly he is, and I love watching him perform during lives, but it’s not like I think in my head, “This is the man I want to marry. This is the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with.” No, it’s not like that, because that would be the ultimate crossover of Fandom and Real Life.

Besides, we don’t match at all; pretty sure I wouldn’t like him much in real life. As much as I hate to admit it, half of me is a realist. I’m not so crazy as to get myself trapped in an impossible love. (Well, sort of. But that’s a story for the Real Life section.) It’s a different kind of love, one that’s hard to explain. It’s a blend of the love I feel for my family and the love I have for my friends — and then there’s the matter of that little celebrity crush I have on him. ^–^

Just because I caught myself unconsciously saying his first name over and over again during Calculus doesn’t mean I love him in that way. Hey, I was just testing what his name sounds like on my tongue. LOL, this is not helping to prove my sanity.

(We had a discussion about marriage in my Religion class recently so that’s why I’ve been thinking about romantic love all of a sudden. This all didn’t just come from nowhere. :D)

I want to be fair to Massu and include him more here because I lurve him too, but he’s so quiet. Not vocally but activity-wise. No rumors, no sightings, no dramas or drama. A bit awkward for me to flail over him doing nothing, isn’t it? Lately you can only catch him in some odd Tegomass stuff here and there.

Oh. Speaking of Tegomass.

They performed on Music Fair 21 some time ago — 2.12, was it? With the Chocolate Disco thing? As expected, ’twas all perfection. <3 I’m trying to somehow rip the audio of their collaboration with those two older guys. My iPod is eagerly awaiting Tego’s vocal riffs and Massu’s quirkiness. There’s something about Massu that makes him so fun to watch during performances. Just looking at him, he doesn’t seem like a performer/idol but put him on a stage and he looks like he’s having the time of his life.

Massu’s pants get crazier and crazier every time I see him.

Massu has been wearing more skull things in public. Approved :D

Tegoshi’s twirls and hip swaying aren’t doing much to persuade me he’s manly.

Tegoshi’s skull ear piece thing from TM no Uta is back, wheeee.

They’re beginning to influence each other more and more. They both do hand motions while singing now, something that Massu does a lot to help hit the right pitches but Tego hardly ever did. Sometimes they’re even moving in sync. ♥

Then, on the more recent appearance on Music Station (the same one that Jin appeared on), they performed Aoi Bench again. The vocals were slightly less than perfect, but at the same time the performance was perfect in its own way. It’s Massu with the problems this time around, which is weird because it’s always Tego with control issues. You can easily see the effort it takes for Massu with his low voice to hit those uber high notes, but while it looks like he’s struggling, he rarely ever sounds like it. For their MS performance, though, I definitely heard his struggle. I hope he isn’t sick or anything. Their harmonization was a bit off too. ;__;

But the two of them compensated for all imperfections with the emotion they put in the appropriate parts. Can you hear it? Most notably in the last refrain, they really projected their feelings into the song. So what if Massu was off for like once in his life? He and Tego, they got us to feel the song, and that’s all that matters to me. Give me sincerity over robotic perfection any day. And for that reason, I prefer their Music Station performance to their Music Fair one.

So how about caps of their faces in HIGH DEFINITION? :DDD

Can you spot skull-chan? :D I also noticed that the colors of Tegoshi’s outfit here are the same as the ones from last year’s Shounen Club Premium performance of “Moshimo,” but inverted. See?

The fact that I remember what he was wearing a year ago indicates that I NEED A LIFE.

I do believe I’ve developed a thing for Massu wearing his ear cuff. And I can tell here that his hands must feel tough and manly. ♥

And as for the single itself?

I already love “Aoi Bench” and I’m an acoustic type of person so it’s a given that I’d love the acoustic version.

But my GOD, “Sotsugyou Album” is a beautiful song. *o* The vocals are just… oh God, I don’t even have the words to describe them. It’s a ballad and the melody is a little difficult to learn, but I don’t care, I just don’t care. I don’t think I’ve ever treated my ears to such sounds before. The most powerful part for me is right after the bridge, when the the two of them sing together instead of their usual harmonizing. I wonder if that’s the impact they were aiming for.

The only thing about “Sotsugyou Album” that saddens me is that Tego and Massu start out the verses at the bottom of their vocal range, at an octave I will never reach, so if I choose to sing along at a higher octave I end up going too high later on. Tego’s voice is so low that I didn’t know it was him at first.

Oh well. That’s all fine. I never start in the right key, anyway.

The whole single means so much to me because I’m graduating this year and I can definitely imagine myself feeling all nostalgic about high school later. Dammit, I NEED to buy a hard copy of this.

Recent Tegomass shots in magazines have been flawless.

. . .

Nothing puts me in a better mood than vacation, and February break could not have arrived at a better time. Well, it’s not like I’m in a bad mood that often but I love, looooove vacations. Oh, vacation homework? What homework? 0:) I’m so full of love today, probably because of last week’s events~

Yesterday I got to try sushi at this Chinese/Japanese restaurant! Actually, I’ve tried sushi a couple times before but I hated it every time. This experience… was no different. -___- I figured that my taste buds had matured by now, so I thought I’d give it another chance.

…Nope, still icky. The Old Man loves it, The Pest surprisingly liked it when it wasn’t raw, but Mama and me — no good. I guess sushi will just be something I’ll never like. :/

But I did get to try Massu’s beloved gyoza for the first time. ^o^ That I liked. Mmmm.

On Saturday I came home from volunteering/library to a thick envelope on the table. I don’t know if this is readable, but:

I got in with a full scholarship! It’s not that great of an accomplishment because it’s not a prestigious school. One of my cousins had laughed and said, “Mimi. They accepted me.” BUT! It’s my first acceptance. So reassured now that I at least have somewhere to go if Top Choice School rejects me. Which it might.

Friday, my whole religion class made cards for a sick Sheena. She tried to come to school after recovering from a fever, but promptly checked into the hospital after losing sight in one eye. D:

Thursday included #5 from Lynne and Christa’s List of 40 Things to Do Before College: Think up new pick-up lines and see if they work on our friends. Laney especially had fun with this one, searching for math- or science-related ones. My personal favorites were “Can I have your significant digits?” and “How come I know over a hundred digits of pi but not seven of yours?”

At one point Laney couldn’t get her brain to work so she just turned to Lizzy and asked her, “Can I buy you a drink?” I’m gonna miss her so much when she heads off to Georgetown and me to whatever school takes me.

Since I’m retelling my week in reverse order, happy belated Valentine’s Day! Why am I always late, lol.

I wrote a Valentine’s Day haiku. :3

It’s not love unless

he kisses your bedhead, your
bare face, your bad breath.

The 14th was nice, despite it being a Monday and all. Lots of chocolate and sweets. TOO MUCH chocolate and sweets, rather. I was so sick of all the sugar by the end of the school day that I refused to go near the refreshments table during the club council meeting. We talked about the candlelight dinner event that club council runs every year. I’m required to help serve again. Ohoho, fond memories of that and the horrific red checkered bow ties they made us wear. D: Angel was gloating to me about how she’s the photographer so she won’t take any photos of herself wearing such eyesores. Then she added that she’ll make sure I end up in every shot she takes. >__<

Random note: Don’t forget to return Cappa’s watch to her after vacation. She let me borrow her watch because I left mine at home and I get jittery when I don’t know the time. Such problems I have. .____.

Corr gave out valentines to all her friends. That includes me. :Db She showed up for that first day then stayed home for the rest of the week, in addition to the days she missed the week before. She apparently was thrilled when she got accepted into a university… but she won’t be able to go if she doesn’t GRADUATE. Some of us — including teachers — are more annoyed than worried for her. Well, it’s her life. I just hope she wakes up soon.

On the Saturday before Valentine’s Day, I had my nerve-racking interview with a Yale grad. That was… awkward. Simply awkward.

I showed up at the restaurant wearing my appropriate outfit. I checked my watch. Ten minutes early. I felt nervous but prepared, having read through a list of possible interview questions an hour earlier.

Five minutes later, I was getting worried because it was awfully close to the meeting time and interviewer lady wasn’t there yet. So I gave The Pest a call and told him to go into my email and check the address again.

Holy crap, I was at the wrong restaurant.

According to my brother, we were on the right street but at the wrong number. The Old Man then spent the next twenty minutes driving up and down the street looking for the number The Pest gave us. I called the interviewer and blubbered my incoherent apologies for being late and it didn’t matter how nice she sounded, I BROKE THE FIRST RULE OF COLLEGE INTERVIEWS.

It wasn’t until I asked a random man on the street did I realize that my brother had read the address wrong, and that I was at the right place the entire freaking time. Lil bro was so dead when I got home.

Interviewer was wearing jeans and a sweater, which you’re not supposed to do whether you’re the interviewer or interviewee. Already I could feel the awkward. She immediately started the interview with the standard: Tell me about yourself.

Stupid, stupid me, I had prepared awesomesauce answers for a list of 20+ potential inquiries, but failed to remember the most basic of interview questions. I said something like, “Oh, um. So I’m Mimi. Um. I go to such and such school. Um. I’m awkward.”

Okay, I didn’t really say that last part. Though I might as well have. Dx

She asked me about my latest writing, since I seemed particularly passionate about that. The piece of writing I chose to tell her about made me seem incredibly shallow and typical. Titled “Raphael,” it’s a short thing about a girl who’s angry that her top choice school rejected her (lol, so easy to tell what was on my mind at the time of writing that). She walks into a classroom and meets this weirdo boy who’s irritatingly calm and she continues to be pissed off until he starts singing to her, which magically melts away her anger. Turns out that he’s an angel, not human at all. I told her all that.

HERE’S THE THING. The story isn’t nearly as shallow as it sounds. I had to do research on the archangel Raphael, the true identity of the boy. Even though he’s a magical curing angel, Raphael is meant to show the healing power of song, and then the girl is supposed to realize how she’s been so crazy about the college process that she has distanced herself from everyone around her. Plus, I wanted the whole story to have a religious undertone. Not trying to say the story is ~deep~ or anything, just that it isn’t mindless prose.

For the rest of the interview, she mostly wanted to hear me ask HER questions about the school. Way tougher than it sounds, since I’m not incredibly interested to begin with. I just made up some stuff. And somehow the conversation turned to ethnic foods.

Twenty minutes later, we were finished. Several days of anxious hand-wringing for that. Done.

Now, amidst all these lighthearted events, I don’t think it’s appropriate to mention this next thing. So… I won’t. I’ll leave that for next time, a continuation of the likey lovey stuff in this entry.

Anyway, done with that. I want to introduce a new journaling project. Er, my first journaling project, rather. I haven’t really done anything like this before.

I remember long ago when I snapped a photo of my collection of flocked bears, back when I just started this journal. Here it is again:

I’ve added a bit to the collection since then, but I really don’t want to trouble myself with assembling them on the table and getting the lighting right and everything, just for an updated picture. Ughh, I’m so unmotivated during vacations~~

Right, so on to this journaling project of mine. All the bears have names — cuz I’m childish like that :Dv — and in seventh grade my friends gave a few of them personalities. I’ll be taking a bear with me to various places and I’ll take a picture of them, along with a description of the place and maybe an anecdote about the bear/place if I have one. It’s my last year in high school and I’m becoming increasingly emotional as the precious days pass by, so I figured this would be a nice way to document the remainder of my life as a child.

I have over 20 of these darling little things. I doubt I can finish this project before school ends in May but I’ll do my best. :D

Day One

Name: Joey

Color: Light blue. You can’t really see in the photo but Joey has a green star drawn on his belly to distinguish him from his twin, Jonathan.

Place: Dark, teeny book room in school library, formerly a dorm room back when my school was a boarding school. There’s a round table taking up half of this place, as if it isn’t small enough. Whenever I have the chance, I would go here during Study. It’s quiet and I can do my work in peace. Except, it might be a bit TOO peaceful. On Valentine’s Day I put my head down for a nap, and Kaylee was the one who woke me up… fifteen minutes into my next class. DDD: Luckily it was last-period Calculus, and with a lot of students absent to compete at a Mock Trial thing, the class was just fooling around that day with a mini math competition. Teacher didn’t even bother taking attendance, nor did he acknowledge me waltzing in fifteen minutes late looking like a mess. YES THERE IS A GOD.

Other Info: Joey is one of the Original Eight that I first bought from a crafts store in the seventh grade. He’s been replaced many times, as he’d once been stolen and I gave two of him to Markus for his birthday. ^–^ Markus named him, actually, giving him the title, “Daddy’s Little Angel.” Joey’s got a sweet crush on light green Teddy, who is Mama’s Little Devil. :D

The following entry will be more focused and serious. Umm, promise. :Dv

Until next time,

~ Mimi ^vv^

P.S. My last few entries have been gigantic, over two thousand words each. Okay, new resolution! WRITE LESS BUT MORE OFTEN.

6 thoughts on “Like and Love…

  1. I think most of the time, the staff and screenwriters have Tegoshi crossdress, but Tegoshi just doesn’t mind one bit. Maybe even… enjoys it? :D

    .______. The whole section about falling in love with an idol… I feel like it was somehow directed at me, lol. I think I do love Massu, but it’s not like I blinded myself from everyone else in my life. It’s just that… Massu raised my standards a lot. And he taught me how to say no, lol.

    Oh yeah :\ I noticed the slightly off vocals on the Music Station perf. quickly. But once I Massu started singing with so much emotion that it sounded like he was going to cry, I was mesmerized by the beauty of the performance.

    For remembering Tego’s outfit from a year ago… My respect for you escalated. Fangirls are amazing people, lol.

    You do not know how happy I was when you said you liked gyoza. ;w; I don’t even know why I’m so happy xD

    Congrats on your scholarship! And wow, a FULL one?!

    XD;; Oh… oh dear. That interview. I don’t know anything about these things, but the college probably conscious about how nervous the student must be, right?

    <3 Huhu, I love how the yellow bear is next to the pink bear.

  2. Tego’s mama has been training him since he was little, after all. I’m sure he’s used to it. :D It’s just… I wish I could see inside his head and understand what he’s thinking about all this.

    Lol, no, I wasn’t directing it at you. I only wanted to clarify that I’m not nuts.
    …Okay, maybe I was trying to direct it at some people out there who worry me with how crazy in love they’re acting. NOT you. You’re tame compared to what I’ve seen out there. xD It’s gotten to the point where people aren’t joking anymore. Whoever they’ve chosen as their favorite, they really, really do L-O-V-E him. Fandom is fun, fangirling is fun, but when you can possibly hurt yourself through your involvement, I think you’ve gone too far. It’s like those poor four-year-old girls who think they have a chance with Justin Bieber. XP

    Oh, the scholarship? Thanks but it’s nothing, really. It’s not a good school so that’s why I got one so easily. Besides, the tuition is about the same as my high school tuition. :P

    I think I can do anything now after going through that interview, lol. Sooooo stressful. And I was careful to select schools that didn’t require interviews too…

    XD I took that picture three years ago so I didn’t even notice the bears! You’re so observant.

  3. Hi, Mimi.

    I’m so with you about the idol thing. I’m a huge fan of tegoshi but never really imagined him as my lover. :// I don’t think I would get along well with him irl, either. lol
    Also totally agree about the whole thing you wrote about tegomasu here. Although I can’t help but notice that tegoshi was in some kind of bad mood in MS.

    Sorry for suddenly commenting. lol Actually I’ve been checking your blog since yamanade for something to read. *while waiting for downloads* xD and since I am not native in English, I choose to silently enjoy your entries. :x

    Your blog is really interesting. ^^


  4. Ooh, I know you! Well, kind of. I’ve been to your Youtube channel. Hihi. :D

    I DO fantasize about Tego, lol, but that’s a natural part of being a huge fan. I just don’t let it go beyond my imagination. ^___^
    I didn’t watch the whole Music Station talk bit, just when Tegomass were talking, so I’m not sure what you mean by his bad mood. But I did see some caps of the two of them looking so bored when Jin was talking. XD

    Sudden comments are always welcome! :D I love to hear what people think of my opinions. But woah, since YamaNade? Wasn’t that over a year ago? :O Anyway, thanks a lot, and your English sounds excellent to me!

  5. Hi! I stumbled upon your blog from web searching Tegoshi’s crossdressing :) I was scouting for pictures XD

    Anyway, I’m same as you about Yuuko/Yuya. I feel that they’re different people altogether. LOL I thought it was just me. XD

    [But I wonder: Why is he crossdressing in the first place? Did he himself request to dress up like that? Did the screenwriters create the drama with Tegoshi as Kirishima in mind? Or maybe it was a random last-minute addition because the director figured, “Tegoshi-san will be totally cool with this and it will boost ratings.”]

    Hmmmm… About that above… I think he’s used to it already? He’s an only child, right? I bet his mom made him wear girl clothes when he was young. And I’ve been reading a lot lately so apparently, he cross-dressed as a girl on Valentine’s (not sure what year but I read it in a magazine interview) as a prank and walked all over the streets. So… Yeah..

    Sorry for barging on your blog just like this. I was just happy that someone out there feels the same way about Tegoshi like me (which makes me feel safe that I’m not going crazy alone^^)


  6. Haha, I think you’re definitely right! I make my younger brother wear my clothes all the time, and now he doesn’t even object when I hold up a dress and tell him to put it on. But yeah, Tegoshi has mentioned that he’s in a different mood when he’s working, especially when he’s on stage. It’s like a high for him, so he’s more inclined to do crazier things. He’s also devoted to pleasing fans and he knows what drives us crazy. Thus, the crossdressing. I really hope he’ll crossdress during the current concert too!

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