TOO MUCH FANFICTION (or Dream Batch #2)

Hey, did you know that when you eat an apple you’re actually eating a mature plant ovary? Yep, learned that in AP Bio today. My face when I found out —> o______O

I’m just gonna record two dreams I remember having yesterday before I go tackle my math homework. The first dream actually made sense; when I told The Pest about it he thought I was telling him a recount of what had happened to me that day. XD

As for the second dream… I think it’s time for me to ease off on the fanfiction for a while. Because the dream was anything but PG. Which involved Tegomass. And Tegomass should never be higher than PG.

In Dream #1, I’m shopping at Target with The Old Man and The Pest. Funny how Mama has yet to appear in my dreams.

We head over to a brightly lit but secluded area of the store, where they sell all the artsy stuff. I examine a box of Blendy Pens: it’s torn, and when I peek inside the box I see that several are missing and there’s a random gel pen cap in there.

Since someone had already messed around with it, I figure it would be okay if I test it out. I pull out two pens — one of this color and one of this — along with the middle fusion chamber part. But even though the pens look nothing like what they’re supposed to look like and the fusion chamber looks like a section of a clear plastic straw, I give it a try anyway.

Just as I graffiti my name on the wall, these two security guards with balding heads, beer bellies, and tight blue uniforms spring out of nowhere. They each grab one of my arms while Mr. Manager looks thrilled that he caught a vandal in the act. He’s all in my face, saying things like, “Haha, we caught you~” and “Thought you would get away with it, huh?”

And, well, I go crazy. I don’t know why, but dream-me kicks and flails and profusely protests what they’re doing to me. I try to argue by telling them that the box was already opened when I got there. But the manager only says that it doesn’t matter, because I had already graffitied my name on their wall. The dream ends with the two security guys dragging me away — and I don’t go peacefully.

The second dream… oh God, the second dream~ O___O

Before I describe it, I’ll say this really quickly, journal: I swear I’m not like this all the time. In real life, I’m a proper girl with /adequate/ manners. I’m definitely more refined than I am… not refined. But, dammit, JE BRINGS OUT THIS HUGE PERV IN ME. >___<

So, once again, fandom makes its way into my dreams. I think the entire dream takes place in the backstage area where NEWS were during part of the Live Diamond tour. This is probably a sign that I should stop watching bits of NEWS concerts before bed. XP

I’m wandering the halls of the backstage area with a camcorder in hand, filming everything. There’s a whole lot of staff people around, but no NEWS members so far.

Then I reach a door. Somehow, I know exactly which room it is. Remember that part of the Winter Party Diamond documentary where Koyama discovers what the TegoShige Prank Duo had done to his suitcase? It’s the room that has several ivory-colored sofas in it.

When I push through the door, I discover that the sofas (which, in the dream, are white instead of ivory) have been moved a lot closer to the door than it was in the documentary.

And right in front of me, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, are the two of Tegomass SHAMELESSLY MAKING OUT on the center couch. Massu is making the strangest noises, sounding almost like whimpers but not quite. I don’t know how to describe them.

Oh yeah, and that might have something to do with Tegoshi having his right hand inside Massu’s pants.

O///O

THE FANFICTION IS GETTING TO ME, I’M TELLIN’ YA.

They do break apart when they hear me enter the room, but Tegoshi doesn’t stop the movement of his hands. They turn to look at me, quite calmly. Neither looks ashamed or embarrassed that I walked in on them, which I expected from Tegoshi but not from Massu.

I ask them if they don’t mind if I film them. After saying that they don’t mind, they resume what they had been doing before my interruption. And they go further, of course. Dream-me just stands there for the longest time filming Tegoshi and Massu, um, going at it. Like rabbits.

I know I’m a huge fan and all — but I really didn’t think I would go so far as to have explicit dreams of them. I am also very surprised that dream-me is able to film them while keeping a straight face and without even a hint of blushing. If such a situation were to truly happen to me, I think I would  have died from massive fangirl spasms.

Anyway, once I get enough footage, I go and post the video on Youtube. Somehow, it posts directly on the Yahoo homepage instead. The description I had written for the video was this: “YOU SO WISH YOU WERE ME.” Yep, capslock and everything.

Then I wake up, and the strangeness ends there.

I don’t have any provocative Tegomass pictures (unless you count the one at the end of this entry) because Tegomass are cute and clean, so this is the closest I can get to a picture that relates to the above dream.

Now, why can’t they ever show things like this on their DVDs? Sales would skyrocket. I heard somewhere that this happened during either “Change the World” or “Bambina.” If it’s “Bambina” and Tegoshi is singing, that could possibly mean he’s singing his solo line, the translation of which MAKES THIS PICTURE SO APPROPRIATE.

Unfortunately, I think it was during “Change the World.” D:

I’ll be home late tomorrow because I stupidly signed up for a CPR class. The dean of students had popped up in front of me with clipboard, asking if I wanted to take the class after school on Tuesday. For some reason, I panicked and blurted, “YES,” and before I could change my mind — too late, she had written my name down.

See you tomorrow at 6, journal.

Until next time,

~ Mimi :/

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