What, if I may ask, is the purpose of this project? People seem to believe that the purpose is to scare the students into becoming teen parents. But I think the only purpose is to train me to become a future baby killer, because I cannot express how many times I wanted to punch, kick, stab, and throw my baby onto the highway. Every day, as soon as I get into the car and the prying eyes of the health teacher are gone, I hurl the stupid 5-lb sack of flour into the backseat. I then use the pathetic thing as a footstool for the remainder of the car ride home.
These are the rules of the project:
1. If you put your baby on your lap, the ground, or your desk at any times, you will have points deducted. The health teacher is lurking E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E.
2. You must cradle your baby as a mother would cradle her newborn.
3. If you are unable to hold your baby for a short period of time, you may ask a classmate to carry it for you. If that classmate abuses your baby, you still get points deducted.
4. If you are absent for a day, you must carry your baby for an extra day.
I distinctly remember seeing someone’s baby sail through the air last year, as I was departing for home. I would LOVE to play football with my baby, but I’m scared it’s going to burst open.
Because I am a huge fan of the Final Fantasy series, I ended up naming my baby Odin. Turns out that word means ‘inspiration.’ Which is exactly what I need right now to write this infernal persuasive essay on A Raisin in the Sun.
#7. Maintain my perfect GPA – Currently failing. (Every year, I give one of the terms a name. This year, it’s happening in the fourth and final term. The Decline. It’s when I start to fail in Every. Single. Subject.)
#11. Quit leaving things until the last minute – Total fail! (I’ve had only two hours of sleep three nights in a row last week.)
#18. Get over Markus – Accomplished after four years!
#38. Remember to breathe when presenting in front of the class – Failed! So failed. (I felt perfectly fine five minutes before I went up to give my monologue. Confident, even. But when I got up there… I FORGOT ALL MY LINES. I got an 87. T-T)
#48. Buy a new pair of school shoes to replace the ones I’ve been wearing since I was twelve – Accomplished! (Bought two pairs, actually.)
Until next time,
~ Nana >:(