# Ten a Day (21-30)

JOURNAL.

AIN’T EVEN GONNA APOLOGIZE FOR THE CAPS BECAUSE I GOT MY CALC MIDTERM BACK.

-HYPERVENTILATES-

I GOT…

A 57.

OUT OF 70.

WHICH IS…

…an A-minus?

Okay, professor, I know I’m not very numerically inclined and I stare at you blankly half the time in class but a 57/70 is not an A-minus.

Well, it is after the gigantic curve. I guess I would have gotten a B-minus/81%, which I would have been thrilled with, actually! But the average was a 46/70 or something like that, or about a 66% without the curve.

What.

How could that be the average when I am the only student who never answers the professor when he asks questions about the problems on the board because I am completely lost?

I got no points for the first question — “Find the domain of the function f(x) = ln(1 – e-x)” — because when e‘s and logs and ln’s show up in a problem everything automatically equals unicorn vomit, for all I know. But then this true/false problem here:

Professor was starting to collect the exams and I didn’t know how the heck to approach this question so I pulled that above answer out of my own ass, then promptly died a little inside as I handed my packet to him.

He says that this average is pretty consistent with past averages for the summer calc course. These averages are always lower than the averages of a regular semester-long course, which is to be expected because the pace of this summer course is insane. My second midterm is in one week and I’m 7 homework assignments behind!

TT-TT

Next ten set of questions to take my mind off of scary math things.

21. Do you believe in God?
After 14 years of attending Catholic schools, I naturally grew up believing in God and never really questioned it until near the end of my time in high school. I now describe myself as the ever questioning agnostic, leaning more towards wonder than doubt. Nevertheless, the doubt is still there.

I speak about God as though he exists, but only as that: a higher being who exists and may have created life as we know it, not as the almighty lord and savior.

Sometimes I’m a bit jealous of those whose faith is so strong and unwavering. I’m not gonna force myself to love a deity whose existence I doubt, but I do feel a sense of emptiness that might be filled if only I had been raised to believe in God.

22. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Not at all. “Love at first sight” is incredibly shallow and thus it can only be infatuation. “Oh, her face is so beautiful! Those cheekbones! Those breasts! DAT ASS. Forget about internal substance and anything else that matters — I’M IN LOVE.”

No, buddy. Wrong.

23. Do you believe in karma?
I would like to, but I just don’t. Ley is right; I’m a pessimist. I believe life is a douchebag and it occasionally lets bad people go unpunished and good people suffer.

24. Who was your first crush?
There may have been another before him, but my earliest memory was when I was in the 1st grade, so I would have been about 6 or 7. All us little ones were clumped on the carpet watching a movie, and there was a boy sitting next to me. I remember having a hard time paying attention to the movie, instead using my time to discreetly inch my hand closer to his and casually pretend I didn’t notice our fingers touching. I SWEAR he was doing the same, or else he would have yanked his arm away with a hiss of “Ewww, cooties!” when we made contact.

Oh, and he’s a black kid. I guess my attraction to darker skin started real young, huh? :3

He’s a dick now.

25. Who do you have a crush on?
Celebrity-wise, totally still Tegoshi Yuya lololol. Not nearly as intensely as before, but I still wibble somewhat when I see his adorable magazine spreads.

As for non-celebs… I don’t really have any. I develop crushes on a lot of the obvious-lesbians at my college (I like the type with pixie cuts and not-so-butch clothing), but sometimes they don’t even look attractive to me.

There was this one girl in my stats and developmental psych classes who always apologized when she had to squeeze past me to get to her seat. She is sooooooo butch (i.e., not my preference) but I still sigh and want to listen to her witty speak all day. I really think I only have crushes on their lesbianism.

._________.

So, kind of like: “You’re so gay! And I like that!” I wonder if they’d find that offensive, though…

Also, Laureen once pointed out that I was unconsciously flirting with her younger brother through webcam and you could not describe the look of horror on my face because that kid is The Pest’s age (17-18) and I am a pedo.

(Uwahhh, still so good looking, though!!!)

26. How would you describe yourself?
A weirdo weird person who is also strangely unremarkable. Self-esteem level hit rock bottom long ago. Has strong opinions but rarely voices them because that would offend people and she doesn’t want that to happen. Can’t even decide if she is realistic or idealistic because she contradicts herself. Kind, but not friendly. Always sad. (Thinks her smile is ugly, which perpetuates her sadness.) Runs away from her problems. Does not try hard enough at life. Figuratively blonde. Likes to think she is perceptive but is far too ADD to be so.

Oh would you look at all those character flaws.

27. What are you afraid of?
Being disliked

Being alone

Being wrong. (Exactly why I don’t look at my wrong answers on tests. I don’t handle criticism well unless I ask for it so I pretend it doesn’t exist.)

Mirrors in the dark

Creepy doll things in the dark

Letting people down

Hurting others

BUGS OF ALL SORTS

28. Are you religious?
Nahh.

29. What does your screen name mean?
The verb entrance (as in, “to entrance someone” or “be be entranced by something”) always seemed a bit mystical to me, or even magical. So, I dropped the and added ia to make it pretty, and according to Google Translate I ended up with a Portuguese word that means “indentation.” -__-

30. What person do you trust the most?
I don’t really trust people entirely. Depends on what you mean by “trust.” I trust my parents to love me. I trust my good friends (Laureen, Mclean, Manny, Sherry, Cappa) to understand me. But probably… I’d pick my brother to do both and to always be there for me. We have the ultimate sibling bond and I wubz him. DON’T YOU DARE TELL HIM I SAID THAT.

Until next time,

~ Mimi :*